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Swinging Basics

This page is for people considering starting out in the swinging scene who are not sure how to proceed.

The aim of the page is to give some pointers to the pitfalls, and to help you avoid timewasters, or being seen as timewasters yourselves.

I have split the page into 4 categories; 

To learn more about swingers have a look at the site "What is Swinging?"


1. What or Who are swingers?

Swingers include people who;

The main criteria for being a swinger is that you are open and honest with yourself, your regular partner and the people you meet.

A popular misconception is that Swingers are people who have sex with anyone. Swingers are normal people who need to be attracted to their partner. Swingers are a lot more choosy than the average single at the end of the night in a dance club where any partner will do.


2. New Couples

Many couples enjoy fantasizing about having sex with other people, more and more of these people are deciding to make these fantasies become a reality, which is great news for the people already in the swinging scene, as we always enjoy having new people come and join us. There are of course pitfalls and there are several things you should consider before you come and join in the fun.

Don't push or pull your partner into the scene.

Decide what your boundaries are.

Never fall in love!

First steps

Meeting a single guy.

Going to a Swingers Party

There are many swingers parties held every weekend in most of the large cities in Australia.

Before you go read all the information you can about the parties to ensure that they cater for new comers, or for your tastes. Some venues have different kinds of parties on different nights, so make sure you are aware of the type of party you will be going to.

Swinging etiquette is

Meeting a Swinging Couple.

This option is almost as easy as going to a swinging club or swingers party, but you now have 4 people, all of whom will have to be happy with the other pair, be patient and look for people you are both happy with. Expect some knock backs, just because you fancy a couple, and each other, it does not follow that the couple will fancy both of you!

After you have made contact via the message system, and it looks as though the four of you may have enough in common to meet. Arrange to talk on the phone. This is an important step, as you will need to weed out single guys pretending to be couples and husbands (and occasionally wives) who are trying to pull their partner along by making arrangements without the other knowing. When you make the arrangement use a mobile number, or you could end up with unwanted calls to your home number. You must make sure that all 4 of you talk, do not accept excuses that the partner is late home from work, putting the kids to bed, nursing a dying mother or shagging the whole Australian Rugby team, if you cannot talk to them, they probably do not exist, or are not aware of the situation.

Meeting a single girl

By far the most difficult to achieve. Although there are many single girls in the swinging scene, they can afford to be very fussy. They tend to be very specific about their requirements and 9 out of 10 guys will not meet their requirements. If you are a single guy trying to meet a girl and you do not meet her specified requirements, do not bother writing, you will either recieve a blunt "Thanks but no thanks" or no reply at all.

Many of the girls tend to be bi and prefer meeting couples, once they find a couple they are compatible with they tend to stay with them.

Whoever you are going to meet remember that although its scary, the other people will be as nervous as you. Don't get drunk or drugged up. No once fancies people who are not in control of their faculties. A drink to steady the nerves is OK, bouncing off the walls and throwing up is not going to impress anyone.

 


 

3. New single Ladies

Welcome, you are the most sought after category in the swinging scene!

Many of the couples and almost all the single guys who advertise on this site, would like to meet you. You can afford to be choosy, and pick the person or people you want to play with.

If you advertise you will be hit with hundreds of messages every day, so be prepared to do a lot of reading. When your profile explain exactly what you are looking for, even eye/hair color, some of the guys do read the profiles before responding, but many just send a standard response to every girl and couple who advertise in the hope that someone somewhere will want them. If you are happy to respond to all the emails say so in the ad, if you will not be responding to some people - those with no photo, those who have brown eyes when you asked for blue etc. - say so in your profile. 

Be honest, and keep to your word. Describe yourself accurately. If you are a size 16, say so, don't pretend that you are a size 12-14. Guys are not quite so stupid that on meeting you they will not realize. You will also find that there is a big demand for larger girls. 

If you say in your profile that all emails will be answered, answer them, even if just a "no thanks, not this time".

If you do find someone you want to meet make sure you do so in a safe environment, not at that persons house. Meet in a pub or hotel lounge, make sure you are happy with them in a social setting before making arrangements to meet them in private. If they say they are a couple talk to both people on their telephone, make a note of their number - you must make sure that you talk to both of them, do not accept excuses that the partner is late home from work, putting the kids to bed, nursing a dying mother or shagging the Australian Rugby team, if you cannot talk to them, they probably do not exist, or are not aware of the situation.

When you leave home make sure someone knows where you are going, leave a sealed envelope to be opened if you do not ring in by a certain time, in it put the email addresses, telephone number and location of the meeting, its better to be safe and embarrassed than dead.

Whoever you are going to meet remember that although its scary, the other people will be as nervous as you. Don't get drunk or drugged up. No once fancies people who are not in control of their faculties. A drink to steady the nerves is OK, bouncing off the walls and throwing up is not going to impress anyone.

 


 

4. New single guys

Guys you have the hardest struggle of all. There are thousands of single swinging males all wanting to get involved in the swinging scene, most it must be said simply because its the easiest way to get sex without getting a mortgage, kids and an overdraft!, many due to broken marriages or relationships, but sadly there also many miss-fits; like the guys who have no social graces and are therefore unable to make friends through work or social gatherings, those who see themselves as gods gift to women, and as a result no woman wants to know them, and sadly the ones who have odor problems.

You will have to make a lot of effort to be picked by a couple or a lady. 

Things that may help you.